One Day in Class
by Yoru no Kuronue
Summary: AKA What the Hell did Tsuzuki Put in My Chocolate Bunny? Hisoka is taking a class from Touda and the unthinkable happens.


Disclaimer: I own this really screwed up plot. Not the characters. They belong to Matsushita Yoko-sama.

Yoru: Hi! I thought I would take a break from torturing people and do some funny (or stupid depending on your point of view) fics. So first, we have "One Day in Class", also known as "What the Hell Did Tsuzuki Put in My Chocolate Bunny?"

Kuronue: You are seriously messed up.

Yoru: I know. biiiiig smile

Hisoka sat, watching Touda drone on about catching Shikigami.

Key word- "watching".

He certainly wasn't listening. Tsuzuki had given him a solid chocolate bunny to eat for whatever reason. Something along the lines of "it'll make it less boring."

It wasn't helping.

Touda went on and on, reading papers, and then he turned around.

Hisoka's eyes nearly bugged out of his head.

Touda's rear end…was beautiful.

Hisoka stared. How had he never noticed that before? Wait a minute…why was he noticing now? His eyes tore themselves away from Touda's ass and focused on the chocolate bunny.

_Less boring? It is, but…what the hell did Tsuzuki put in my chocolate bunny?_

"Kurosaki." A hand slammed onto the desk in front of Hisoka. The boy jumped, blushing furiously when he realized that Touda's face, half hidden but still beautiful, was inches from his own.

"Have you heard a word I've said? If you don't listen and then you get hurt again Tsuzuki will bitch at me, not you, and I don't want to hear it, so…" He stopped when he realized that Hisoka wasn't listening. The boy was staring at…well…yep. That.

"Excuse me…" Touda snarled. Hisoka looked up at him, his eyes a little glazed.

"Tsuzuki put something in my chocolate bunny," he said bluntly. Touda blinked.

"As in…what?" he growled. Hisoka shrugged.

"I don't know. But it's making me stare at your butt. And other places. While it's a nice view, I'm sure I'm supposed to be paying attention." Hisoka handed the bunny to Touda, "You can confiscate it."

"I will." Touda stalked back to his desk. Unbeknownst to Hisoka, the poor snake god was blushing furiously. Was his ass really that nice?

"Um…continuing…" Later, as Hisoka was taking a test Touda gave him, Touda heard his stomach growl. He was _starving._ His eyes slid to the bunny. One little nibble couldn't hurt, right? Hisoka had already eaten the whole head, so whatever was in the bunny had to be taken in large amounts, right?

He knew he was just trying to come up with a way he could eat it. He was so hungry.

He picked it up and took a nibble. Yum. He took another, and then snuck a glance at Hisoka. No reaction from his hormones, so he must have been right about the bunny's vile contents. He bit off a chunk.

"Why are you eating my bunny?" Hisoka asked, bringing the test to Touda. The snake god glared at him.

"I'm hungry."

"Do you want to stare at my butt?"

"I'm not, am I?" Touda set the bunny down and crossed his arms. Hisoka shrugged and turned around to go. Completely against his will, Touda's eyes slid down.

_Damn, he has a nice… oh, shit._

"Staring?" Hisoka went up to Touda and got in his face. The snake god turned his head away.

"Stupid bunny," he muttered under his breath. Hisoka smiled slightly.

"Tsuzuki will pay for this, right?" he asked, a little breathlessly. Touda's eyes slid to him.

"Oh yes. Dearly." And he swept Hisoka into a passionate kiss.

Hisoka couldn't pay attention today either.

Even without the bunny, Touda's behind was beautiful. The snake god went on as if nothing had happened the day before. Finally, Touda concluded his talk and dismissed Hisoka.

"Tomorrow," he said, waving a hand.

"Now," Hisoka snapped, glaring at Touda. The snake god arched a superior eyebrow.

"Now what?"

"We're going to talk. Now. Why did we…do that yesterday?"

"Because Tsuzuki put something in your chocolate bunny that gave us intense amorous desires toward each other." Touda leaned against the wall, pretending to be nonchalant. But the emerald eyes boring into his own were calling him.

"So…nothing was…real?" Hisoka turned away, "Okay."

He left.  
Touda let him.

Even though it burned more than Suzaku's fire.

Could one hour with the boy really have awoken such a passion?

No.

Touda had been enamored from the first moment. Of course, he had done nothing about Soryuu attacking, but he had thought the boy was lovely. Fleeting thought.

Later, with a better look, he saw the lovely wasn't the right word. Hisoka was breathtaking. Now, because of Tsuzuki, they had spent an hour together.

But Touda was letting him walk away.

Hisoka walked down the hallway, his hands in his pockets. Touda had delivered the final word.

"Hisoka!" Tsuzuki ran up to him, about to tackle him. Hisoka shoved him away.

"Go away," he snarled. Tsuzuki stared at him.

"Why?"

"Good question. Why? Why did you put something in my bunny?" Hisoka sat down where he was, against the wall. Tsuzuki sat beside him.

"I just wanted to get you two together."

"Why?"

"I've seen the way you look at him, and I've seen the way he looks at you. Kijin and I agreed that we should try and speed things along a little bit." Tsuzuki tried a winning smile, but it withered under Hisoka's glare.

"All it got was an hour together and then…tension. I want him again, Tsuzuki, but he doesn't want me. Is that what you were trying to accomplish?" Hisoka hid his face in his arms. Tsuzuki patted his hair sympathetically.

"No. I wanted you to be happy. With Touda, if that was what you wanted. I shouldn't have interfered. I'm sorry."

"No. No, you shouldn't have. Now Touda and I…"

"We what?" The deep voice made the two Shinigami look up. Touda stood there, hands on his hips, "Tsuzuki, you know how much I hate it when people talk about me behind my back."

"Um…yeah." Tsuzuki stood slowly and walked away. Touda watched him go, then his eyes slid to Hisoka.

"You know it was the bunny that made us do that."

"Yeah." Hisoka looked away as Touda knelt in front of him.

"But it's not the bunny that makes me love you," he whispered. Hisoka's eyes widened. He opened his mouth, but Touda put a finger on his lips.

"I love you, Kuro…Hisoka. I've loved you for a long time. But it's not supposed to be. I am immortal…"

"So am I."

"But we can't see each other very often. You don't come here all that often, you know. What's the point of being lovers?" Touda ran his finger over Hisoka's jaw, reveling in the soft skin.

"The point is we're lovers. We love each other. I want you so badly I can hardly stand it," Hisoka said after a moment. Touda smiled, a real loving smile instead of his usual smirk.

"All right then. If you see a point then I guess we'll have to prove that point." Touda leaned in and kissed Hisoka with loving gentleness, rather than the rough press of a drugged-chocolate-bunny haze.

Down the hall and behind a pillar, Kijin and Tsuzuki lurked.

"I knew it!" hissed Kijin. Tsuzuki stifled a laugh.

"Me too. Now it's time to fix up another bunny for Soryuu and Kurikara…"


End file.
